Where are you most of the day? 

I’m not talking about physically…I mean mentally.  Where are your thoughts during most of your waking hours?

Well, if you’re like most of us your mind is off in a million different directions at any particular moment.   

That’s because as women we all wear a number of “hats” (worker, mother, housekeeper, tutor, chauffeur, cook, psychotherapist, etc.)  You’re running through: the shopping list, the tasks at work, that thing you have to do for your kid next week…and on and on.  The to-do list is endless and more items just keep getting added to the bottom.

So, it is perfectly understandable that most of us spend our day either thinking about what happened in the past or worrying about what might happen in the future.  And that is a major cause of stress — not “being” in your life as its happening. 

Think about it.  If you were really living in this moment right now, if that was all you were focused on — how stressed could you be?  Stress is an internal dialog about what happened previously or what might happen down the line.  In the present moment we are just BEING, not analyzing being.

An even more insidious aspect of not being present in the moment…is that these moments actually ARE our lives — and most of us aren’t even experiencing them as they are going on.  That’s pretty tragic, actually. Life is happening right now — and where “are” we?  We are 25-minutes ahead in our thoughts standing in the frozen food section buying peas.  But if you’re like most of us it’s hard to keep your mind from operating like that.  Isn’t it?

And that is why meditation is a good thing — especially for women.

Sure, meditation has a lot of high falootin’ metaphysical connotations, but in its most basic form, is really just being present in the actual moment.   It’s about just “being here now” — not thinking about where you’ve been or worrying about where you’re headed.   Just taking some time, closing your eyes, sitting quietly and breathing…just a couple of minutes to simply exist without a lot of static running through your head.

Most of the women I know are open to the idea of meditating on a conceptual level, but it sounds complicated…and in some ways it is.  But its also very simple.  You don’t have to put on a turban, become a vegan, start wearing Birkenstocks — or stop shaving your underarms.

So, if you’re interested here are some cut-to-the-chase ideas for making meditation work in your life.

Make some time.  Ideally, its best to try to do it first thing in the morning.  But if you have small children this may not be practical.  So just find a point in your day when you can grab some quiet time.  At night before bed.  In the middle of the afternoon — whenever it fits into your schedule. 

Get quiet.  This is a tough one in our culture.  Between our TVs, I-pods, the internet — we’re all on sensory overload.  But the idea is to disconnect from that for a little while (believe me, it will be waiting for you when you get back and try to find a few moments of peace and quiet.

Sit tall.  You want to sit in a comfortable position, but not so comfortable that you’re in danger of falling asleep.  You can lie down, if that’s more comfortable.  But its a good idea to bend your knees and put your feet flat on the floor so you are less likely to doze off.

Close your eyes and breathe deeply.   You can breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth or nose (whichever you prefer), but try not to breathe through your mouth only.

Clear your mind.  Okay, I’ll grant you…this one is sometimes easier said than done. But there are a few ways to try to do just that.  You can repeat a sound or mantra, such as “ah” or “om”, or a word that has special meaning for you, like “peace” or “calm”.  Or you can just focus on your own breath coming in and out of your body. 

Try to “watch your thoughts” from a distance.  As thoughts come into your head, try to let them pass through without getting wrapped up in them — sort of like watching clouds drift past on a summer day. 

Do what you can.  A lot of women think they don’t have the time.  But it really doesn’t take much.  A little goes a long, long way towards reducing stress and teaching you what it means to be “present”.  Time spent here can make all your other time that much better. Even 5-min. while you’re waiting in your car to pick up the kids can really help.

Don’t turn meditating into another source of stress.   There are enough things in your life that you can obsess about, please don’t make meditation one of them.  It’s great if you can set up a regular daily meditation practice, but if you can’t don’t beat yourself up about it. Do it when you can, do it as well as you can.  Remember you are doing something good for yourself no matter what you do. 

Do you Eat to Live or Live to Eat?.

Ask yourself this question. Do you live to eat or eat to live?. I get emails everyday with people upset because they cannot seem to lose weight, even people working out every day and not getting the results they want. It’s a simple answer back every time but one most people do not like to hear. WHAT YOU ARE PUTTING IN YOUR MOUTH IS WHY YOU ARE NOT LOSING THE FAT AND WEIGHT.

I know for some people that may seem like a harsh approach but at times you have to tell it how it is not how someone wants to hear it. I want people to understand their bodies and reach their goals the healthy way. Teaching them the right things they must put in their bodies and how to effectively workout.

So how do you control what you are eating?. You have to get your mindset geared like many other things in your life. You sometimes do not want to wake up in the morning to go to work but you do it because you have to pay the bills. You have daily responsibilities that are essential in keeping your family comfortable. Think of things this way. You had a super stressful day at work and need to vent. Going straight home after work may lead to an argument with the spouse because you are short fused and we sometimes take things out on the ones we love most, or maybe you are the type that may go get a few drinks at “Happy Hour” to calm your nerves. Sound like something you may resort too?. First off alcohol is a depressant which is the last thing you would want during a stressful time. A glass of wine before bed from time to time can be calming; a bottle of wine would be bad. I won’t get into why drinking is bad on a nutrition standpoint but let’s just say water is a much better alternative.

In times things that happen in the past shape our future and who we are but negative things happening can also keep you from being who you are. I always explain things by saying road A or road B. When something negative happens do you run to make another negative choice such as drinking or eating a carton of ice cream? How about you go to the gym and punch away on a boxing bag cook yourself some good healthy food and focus on the positive things in your life. The negatives always have a way of working themselves out by YOU CUTTING THEM OUT.

I got in a very bad car accident at the High of my career in 2005. I had just been on the Reality TV Manhunt with Carmen Electra, I had landed the cover of Men’s workout and was planning on moving to La to further my career and in a glimpse of a second BOOM my dreams were taken away. Everything I had worked so hard for was taken away. I couldn’t workout; I started making bad choices with my diet and my lifestyle. The snowball of negativity leads to the feeling of Rock Bottom. In this instance I choice Road B the road that leads to nothing but more negative. About 9 months later I finally started feeling up to working out again but what was my reasoning, I had fallen off the planet, I had lost my body and was no longer getting booked for jobs. That was the day I looked in the mirror and said enough is enough, I knew all along that was not me; this lifestyle was not me it was a waste of life and would only lead to negativity. I wanted growth and positive again so I made the choices that would help get me there. I cut every single negative person, place and changed my lifestyle. Slowly I was getting myself, my body and my life back. Out of nowhere the cover of Muscle and Body came out with Jennifer Nicole Lee (ab circle pro girl) and I on it. This got me back in the mix and really helped me see that at any moment it can be taken away so never take it for granted.

Are you that person that maybe went through a tough divorce and feels like they could never trust again? Are you the person that had a baby 3 years ago and still make the excuse that you are overweight because women’s bodies never get back to where they were post pregnancy? Are you the main provider in the house and you lost your job through the tough economical times? Each situation is unique in its own but each one can be taken care of to help make your life more positive again
If you are still holding on to things that you know are keeping you from reaching your goals or making your life better you need to sit down and ask yourself a question, Ready.. AM I WORTH IT? Ask yourself that, the answer should always be the same YES. So what can you do to get that negative past out of your life. Here are a few things

I BELIEVE IN YOU. What is most important though is that you believe in yourself. Tell yourself you can accomplish anything and in time you will. Hope you have a great upcoming weekend

Daily we recieve emails from people wanting to lose weight or build muscle. One of the most common questions I’m asked is “does drinking really affect the muscle growth and fat burning process?” I’m sorry to say it, but yes, too much alcohol will almost definitely have a significant negative impact on your muscle-building/fat burning results. Alcohol is far more harmful than most people think, and it’s very important that you understand how this drug (yes, alcohol is a drug) is affecting your progress. This is not an anti-drug speech, but if you’re serious about achieving a truly impressive physique, you should definitely be aware of the 6 main ways that alcohol is slowing down your gains and causing you to store fat.

1) Dehydration.

The kidneys must filter very large amounts of water in order to break down the alcohol, and this can result in severe dehydration within the body. Water plays an absolutely crucial role in the muscle-building process, and being even slightly dehydrated is a recipe for disaster. The muscles alone are comprised of 70% water.  When dehydrated you are weaker, have less energy and your mind is not as clear.  Bottom line you just do not function as efficently.

2) It negatively affects protein synthesis.

Protein synthesis is the process where amino acids are joined together to form complete proteins. Excessive alcohol consumption slows this process down by up to 20%, and since your muscles are made up of protein, you can see how this is a problem.  You put positive things in your body you will get positive results.

3) It lowers testosterone levels and increases estrogen.

Testosterone is the most important muscle-building hormone in your body. One of the limiting factors that determines how much muscle a person can gain is their level of free-flowing testosterone.  If this decreases then so will your muscle gaining in turn causing you to not burn fat as quickly.

4) It increases fat storage.

With 7 empty calories per gram, alcohol can actually be quite fattening. It can also lead to making mistakes with what you are eating if intoxicated.   If your eating and drinking more calories then your burning which typically happens when you go out for a night of fun you will store fat.   Changing your body is about positive choice making.  It can domino in a very positive way or a negative way, this is something you have control over.

5) It depletes the body of vitamins and minerals.

Alcohol consumption causes vitamins A, C, the B’s, calcium, zinc and phosphorus to all be drained at rapid rates. Vitamins and minerals keep every little process in your body functioning properly, and many of these processes involve muscle growth/fat burning and maintenance.

6) Increased appitite.

Alcohol has been shown to increase peoples appitietes. Drinking can cause you to not make the best of choices when it comes to food choices.  Think of a long night at the bar, drinking one to many drinks.  The last thing you want to eat is a piece of grilled chicken and broccoli, You want something very filling because the only calories you have had are empty ones for the different drinks you have.  You want soemthing fatty and salty at 1am. You typically will go to bed after eating this meal so these are calories that will not be burned off and will be stored adding to your fat weight

It’s important to have fun in life, but too much fun can lead to problems. If you’re serious about achieving significant muscle-building results, you definitely need to monitor your intake of alcohol and make sure that you are consuming it in moderation. A few drinks here and there shouldn’t be a problem, but if you find yourself drinking every weekend you can almost certainly kiss your muscle gains goodbye.

If your goals are to achieve the body you have always wanted and feel great then I recommend keeping your drinking to a minimum.  Don’t be afraid to go out and have a good time once in a while. Just make sure to keep your drinking limited and properly nourish yourself to lessen its effects by drinking lots of water and electrolytes. As long as you monitor what you’re doing you can achieve an impressive physique and have a social life at the same time.